Standing in a crowded room
But all I see is you
Like a spotlight follows where you are
Do you know I never want to leave your side
Desire swallows up my pride
I can't say no, I want you,
So I've got to see this through
'Cos I just can't fight this feeling
We should be lovers. We should be lovers
No I just can't fight this feeling
We should be lovers. We should be lovers
Now I just can't fight this feeling
My head is spinning. I think it's winning
Now I just can't fight this feeling
And it's beating me down
Falling on you took a moment
Your kiss charged my heart
Just a touch could never be enough
Do you I know I'm overboard and can't be saved?
I pray the night time makes me brave
I have to show I want you
So I've got to get to you
'Cos I just can't fight this feeling
We should be lovers. We should be lovers
No I just can't fight this feeling
We should be lovers. We should be lovers
Now I just can't fight this feeling
My head is spinning. I think it's winning
Now I just can't fight this feeling
And it's beating me down
Why don't you, why don't you,
Why don't you come to me?
Why don't you, why don't you
Why don't you come to me?
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
hopeful
The moon is calling for me... They both love me, I know.
He exists, the sweetest SIN... mine... my private sin. And she, the moon, my Goddess.
Was waiting for so long, so will keep on waiting for some more. With full of heart, I'm waiting!
We're touched by the moonlight, how cant they see it?
But, can't forget how your dead soul killed mine, and now I'm revived by you... And she will sing for us, for Selena and Sin.
Is not miracle???
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3CDAIINmp4s&feature=related
He exists, the sweetest SIN... mine... my private sin. And she, the moon, my Goddess.
Was waiting for so long, so will keep on waiting for some more. With full of heart, I'm waiting!
We're touched by the moonlight, how cant they see it?
But, can't forget how your dead soul killed mine, and now I'm revived by you... And she will sing for us, for Selena and Sin.
Is not miracle???
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3CDAIINmp4s&feature=related
Monday, November 29, 2010
minus
Today in Riga was -16` C.
When you breath in, you feel like thousand knifes is scraping you inside...
When you breath out, you feel like you throw your soul away...
I am so cold...
Beautiful snow lies around, making you feel being in a paradise of ice-cream. The sky is so blue, light-blue. Sun is trying to warm the ground, but it seems like helpless actions of desperate God.
And I am so, so cold !!!
Do you know what I want now more than anything else?
...to have enough warmth and some chocolates.
When you breath in, you feel like thousand knifes is scraping you inside...
When you breath out, you feel like you throw your soul away...
I am so cold...
Beautiful snow lies around, making you feel being in a paradise of ice-cream. The sky is so blue, light-blue. Sun is trying to warm the ground, but it seems like helpless actions of desperate God.
And I am so, so cold !!!
Do you know what I want now more than anything else?
...to have enough warmth and some chocolates.
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Responsibility
I'm very busy person now - studies, hobbies, work, friends, family...
Now I am going to work in Student Council as Head of Sport department. Already one year I was just a member in SC (helping to those who stand above me), but now I am going to take so huge responsibility...
Mm... I like to be so busy and managing. Like something depends on me! Like I am so important in this society...
Probably I really am :)
Now I am going to work in Student Council as Head of Sport department. Already one year I was just a member in SC (helping to those who stand above me), but now I am going to take so huge responsibility...
Mm... I like to be so busy and managing. Like something depends on me! Like I am so important in this society...
Probably I really am :)
...and never will change
I would like to start with my favourite phrase ''i don't know why''...
Yes, and again i do not know why, but i found out my biggest problem of life.
Paradox, I need love, but when somebody wants to present this great feeling, i do everything not to receive it. WHY?
They are nice guys, mostly, but when they show their attitude to me, i hide mine! Not only hide, but totally close my heart to him. The last thing - I spoil everything by terminating friendship and any contact with this person.
I hurt so many people! I hurt very cute and intelligent guys!
And then I cry ofloneliness...
Yes, and again i do not know why, but i found out my biggest problem of life.
Paradox, I need love, but when somebody wants to present this great feeling, i do everything not to receive it. WHY?
They are nice guys, mostly, but when they show their attitude to me, i hide mine! Not only hide, but totally close my heart to him. The last thing - I spoil everything by terminating friendship and any contact with this person.
I hurt so many people! I hurt very cute and intelligent guys!
And then I cry of
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Today
Let me explain to you, dear blog,
I write here not only emotions and facts of my or my friends life, but also bullshit, just to spoil free space on this page.
Today I realized, that nobody really can keep anybody near without wish from both sides. So, I AM FREE from everybody! I DO NOT NEED ANYBODY! I love him, and her as well, my best friends... But I DO NOT NEED ANYBODY just to prove myself that I am alive... I am alive without doing anything...
I have future, don't I ???? Nobody can play this role but me, cause it's my life - nobody knows how to play better, right ? RIGHT !!!!
I will leave this place, this time, this life, just to start something new !!! Brand-new start, from a pieces of my heart...
...and I will not blame myself if somebody has been hurt cause of me - it's never a fault of anybody... People can't be hurt without willing.
I write here not only emotions and facts of my or my friends life, but also bullshit, just to spoil free space on this page.
Today I realized, that nobody really can keep anybody near without wish from both sides. So, I AM FREE from everybody! I DO NOT NEED ANYBODY! I love him, and her as well, my best friends... But I DO NOT NEED ANYBODY just to prove myself that I am alive... I am alive without doing anything...
I have future, don't I ???? Nobody can play this role but me, cause it's my life - nobody knows how to play better, right ? RIGHT !!!!
I will leave this place, this time, this life, just to start something new !!! Brand-new start, from a pieces of my heart...
...and I will not blame myself if somebody has been hurt cause of me - it's never a fault of anybody... People can't be hurt without willing.
Friday, October 29, 2010
that's really shit!!!
The more i live the more i want to die. Nothing we can change!!!
I can't explain my condition and feelings, but understand me - i am not crazy, depressed or emo... Just tired to see that nothing is good, nothing is worth to live.
God, show me the way... show me the thing that will revive me.
I can't explain my condition and feelings, but understand me - i am not crazy, depressed or emo... Just tired to see that nothing is good, nothing is worth to live.
God, show me the way... show me the thing that will revive me.
Monday, October 18, 2010
danke schon
I can't stop wondering how life can be changed in a moment!!!
This Xmas, maybe, i will go to stockholm, but not alone. I want to find nice company first.
About next steps - someone from above decided to send me abroad for studies. I already applied to FH-STRALSUND in Germany, Stralsund city. SO happy i could die :D Can't really wait to start :))
Everything depends on me, so i just need to be patient and do my work hard.
Nothing is planned in this case... just a miracle that it is...
This Xmas, maybe, i will go to stockholm, but not alone. I want to find nice company first.
About next steps - someone from above decided to send me abroad for studies. I already applied to FH-STRALSUND in Germany, Stralsund city. SO happy i could die :D Can't really wait to start :))
Everything depends on me, so i just need to be patient and do my work hard.
Nothing is planned in this case... just a miracle that it is...
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
To do or not to do ???
I want to make Xmas trip, but it costs so much... Now i got some stuff to pay for, so i do not know if i can fulfil my dream !?!?!!?
My phone is broken, i need new one...
I want to buy one present for my mommy...
I need to buy some really important things for myself...
I pay for medicine to improve my health now..
I want to go to gym at least for some months...
REALLY want to have some extra money in my pocket...
But, after this all, i have no money at all + maybe little debt...
WTF can i do ???
My phone is broken, i need new one...
I want to buy one present for my mommy...
I need to buy some really important things for myself...
I pay for medicine to improve my health now..
I want to go to gym at least for some months...
REALLY want to have some extra money in my pocket...
But, after this all, i have no money at all + maybe little debt...
WTF can i do ???
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Xmas trip
Yeah !!!
I am soooo crazy, so decided to spend my xmas+ny in Sweden and Denmark !!! I am going to visit at least Stockholm, Malmo, Copenhagen...
I am searching for cheapest tickets for two persons cause i am going to take my sister with me!
Big plans. Hope to get it all...
I am soooo crazy, so decided to spend my xmas+ny in Sweden and Denmark !!! I am going to visit at least Stockholm, Malmo, Copenhagen...
I am searching for cheapest tickets for two persons cause i am going to take my sister with me!
Big plans. Hope to get it all...
Thursday, September 30, 2010
LOCA
Where are you?
I miss you.
I want you to hold me...
I want you to be here...
I am so cold now.
I want to feel you near...
babe, you are the one i can't live without...
but, the problem is that i do not know whom it is dedicated to.
Ever spring inside. I am totally cat.
I miss you.
I want you to hold me...
I want you to be here...
I am so cold now.
I want to feel you near...
babe, you are the one i can't live without...
but, the problem is that i do not know whom it is dedicated to.
Ever spring inside. I am totally cat.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Same shit, different day.
10 and half days till home.
Every day i feel myself very down. Nothing is changed.
I need somebody to care of me. But it's so hard to find this person. I believe this person man... :D
I have a lot of guys around who is trying to show their feelings to me, but I do not want them to be near!
Why ???
Because I want them to achieve me !!!
They are dumb - telling some nice words, trying to pull me somehow, but when they see, that I am not so easy, they give up...
If somebody really wants to be near, he will do everything to get me!
Maybe no one really is interested in me...
Every day i feel myself very down. Nothing is changed.
I need somebody to care of me. But it's so hard to find this person. I believe this person man... :D
I have a lot of guys around who is trying to show their feelings to me, but I do not want them to be near!
Why ???
Because I want them to achieve me !!!
They are dumb - telling some nice words, trying to pull me somehow, but when they see, that I am not so easy, they give up...
If somebody really wants to be near, he will do everything to get me!
Maybe no one really is interested in me...
Sunday, September 5, 2010
my people
My friends have changes in their life, the same as I....
I felt myself broken, cause of broken hopes, and... THEY HAD THE SAME SHIT at the same time!!!
Anastasia, my dear, my soul mate broke with her bf, my lovely Julia, sometimes, has problems with her... I am totally single.
Something is really wrong in this life.
But, as one smart one said: "Learn from yesterday, live for today and hope for tomorrow"
Tomorrow would be better day. At least it would be new!
I felt myself broken, cause of broken hopes, and... THEY HAD THE SAME SHIT at the same time!!!
Anastasia, my dear, my soul mate broke with her bf, my lovely Julia, sometimes, has problems with her... I am totally single.
Something is really wrong in this life.
But, as one smart one said: "Learn from yesterday, live for today and hope for tomorrow"
Tomorrow would be better day. At least it would be new!
Thursday, September 2, 2010
what is better ?
Who knows better what is the right choice and what is not ???
I decided one way, but people that is so important for me think otherwise! BUT IT'S MY LIFE, isn't it ???
Yes, I am not sure in the future and what to do exactly. I know only some aims to achieve, but I am not sure about the way how to do it... IT'S OK, i am 20 years old! I have time to make mistakes, OR, who knows, maybe it would not be mistakes, but really right choice and better life in the future...
I do not know how to behave with them - to argue and do my way, or to put down my head and listen to them.
I feel with all my heart that i need to go there to try at least... I FEEL IT !
I decided one way, but people that is so important for me think otherwise! BUT IT'S MY LIFE, isn't it ???
Yes, I am not sure in the future and what to do exactly. I know only some aims to achieve, but I am not sure about the way how to do it... IT'S OK, i am 20 years old! I have time to make mistakes, OR, who knows, maybe it would not be mistakes, but really right choice and better life in the future...
I do not know how to behave with them - to argue and do my way, or to put down my head and listen to them.
I feel with all my heart that i need to go there to try at least... I FEEL IT !
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
less than three
Strange ghost... i feel him, but at the same time i do not believe in him...
He can come near to look to my eyes, to say that he exists, but seems like he does not want.
He is not real, i know, and i already am OK with it... but, still am waiting for him to talk again...
I am daffy !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111
poor me...
He can come near to look to my eyes, to say that he exists, but seems like he does not want.
He is not real, i know, and i already am OK with it... but, still am waiting for him to talk again...
I am daffy !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111
poor me...
Saturday, August 14, 2010
one step
Today "Persen", sleep, sunbathing.
Tomorrow i will go around island again. Nice places are waiting for me :)))
Yanni is so nice, will show me some new cities...
Soon will upload photos ;)
Tomorrow i will go around island again. Nice places are waiting for me :)))
Yanni is so nice, will show me some new cities...
Soon will upload photos ;)
Thursday, August 12, 2010
No.
I don't care about people that indifferent to me. I always think about my family and friends - miss you so much!!!
I do not feel that I must do something for somebody, just for ''my people''
Sad, but you are not one of those...
I do not feel that I must do something for somebody, just for ''my people''
Sad, but you are not one of those...
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Birthday
Every year I had a lot of expectations about this day. This year I have no any. I am in Greece. Alone. I am 20 years now.
To have fun ? - Everybody wish me to have fun in this day, but I am sick, lonely, tired...
Angel... where are you ??? Save me...
To have fun ? - Everybody wish me to have fun in this day, but I am sick, lonely, tired...
Angel... where are you ??? Save me...
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Robot
Working... Walking... Sleeping... Chatting... Swimming... Eating...
Without emotions, without feelings, am I alive?
I think I am... Robot who's alive.
But robots can live longer... Maybe it's nice...
Emotionally you can live fast, colourful, but short... as short as match in the first second of fire...
Without emotions you can live forever like stone. Like pyramids. Somebody smart told - "everything is afraid of time, only time is afraid of pyramids." I wanna be a pyramid, wanna time to be afraid of me...
Wanna be cold like ice burning your fingers if you'll try to touch me.
I am getting colder.
Without emotions, without feelings, am I alive?
I think I am... Robot who's alive.
But robots can live longer... Maybe it's nice...
Emotionally you can live fast, colourful, but short... as short as match in the first second of fire...
Without emotions you can live forever like stone. Like pyramids. Somebody smart told - "everything is afraid of time, only time is afraid of pyramids." I wanna be a pyramid, wanna time to be afraid of me...
Wanna be cold like ice burning your fingers if you'll try to touch me.
I am getting colder.
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Epiphany
After three months I realized that it's not like i thought.
You are fake, but I am real !
I live 24 hours everyday, I am alive and I need attention, I need heat... I need to feel life...
I am alone... I am lonely... I have you, but I do not see you near.
You are my imagination, you are fake.
PROVE ME YOU'RE NOT !!!
You are fake, but I am real !
I live 24 hours everyday, I am alive and I need attention, I need heat... I need to feel life...
I am alone... I am lonely... I have you, but I do not see you near.
You are my imagination, you are fake.
PROVE ME YOU'RE NOT !!!
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Hypnotise
Music is around us... when wind is blowing, try to hear the rhythm of it... When it's rainy, try to hear the melody of cries... When you are on the beach, try not to laugh and have fun, but shut the fuck up and hear the music of waves !!!
Who you are if you don't like music ? Are you alive ???
How can you live without music ? Don't lie to me, that you do not hear it inside you? Blood circulating inside you sings... When you breath in... Out... It's music... When you walk, your feet is making music. Hear it ! Feel it around and inside !!!
Who are you if you don't like music ? Are you human ? Are you alive ?
Music makes us feeling love. It gives us energy to live. Does it take anything back ? Noup! That's why this kind of love is the best.
Music is my love, music is my life, music is my lover, it's my day and night... Thanks to God of music. You did great job to do it.
Who you are if you don't like music ? Are you alive ???
How can you live without music ? Don't lie to me, that you do not hear it inside you? Blood circulating inside you sings... When you breath in... Out... It's music... When you walk, your feet is making music. Hear it ! Feel it around and inside !!!
Who are you if you don't like music ? Are you human ? Are you alive ?
Music makes us feeling love. It gives us energy to live. Does it take anything back ? Noup! That's why this kind of love is the best.
Music is my love, music is my life, music is my lover, it's my day and night... Thanks to God of music. You did great job to do it.
Monday, July 26, 2010
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Isida
Ибо я — первая и я же — последняя
Я — почитаемая и презираемая
Я — блудница и святая
Я — жена и дева
Я — мать и дочь
Я — руки матери моей
Я — бесплодна, но бесчисленны дети мои
Я счастлива в браке и не замужем
Я — та, кто производит на свет, и та, кто вовек не даст потомства
Я облегчаю родовые муки
Я — супруг и супруга
И это я родила моего мужа
Я — мать моего отца
Я — сестра моего мужа
Поклоняйтесь мне вечно,
Ибо я — злонравна и великодушна
(Гимн Изиде, 3—4 век до н. э.)
Я — почитаемая и презираемая
Я — блудница и святая
Я — жена и дева
Я — мать и дочь
Я — руки матери моей
Я — бесплодна, но бесчисленны дети мои
Я счастлива в браке и не замужем
Я — та, кто производит на свет, и та, кто вовек не даст потомства
Я облегчаю родовые муки
Я — супруг и супруга
И это я родила моего мужа
Я — мать моего отца
Я — сестра моего мужа
Поклоняйтесь мне вечно,
Ибо я — злонравна и великодушна
(Гимн Изиде, 3—4 век до н. э.)
Expensive
It's expensive to call me, so you prefer not to speak with me. It's expensive to live near, so you prefer to be away. It's expensive to make me happy, so you prefer to say ''don't be sad''. It's expensive to love, so we prefer to hate. WTF ??? When anybody is important to you, you do not think about costs, am i right? Ya, i am. Before you learn to respect others, you will not be happy to 100% !!!
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
You are
You're just too good to be true.
Can't take my eyes off you.
You'd be like Heaven to touch.
I wanna hold you so much.
At long last love has arrived
And I thank God I'm alive.
You're just too good to be true.
Can't take my eyes off you.
Pardon the way that I stare.
There's nothing else to compare.
The sight of you leaves me weak.
There are no words left to speak,
But if you feel like I feel,
Please let me know that it's real.
You're just too good to be true.
Can't take my eyes off you.
I love you, baby,
And if it's quite alright,
I need you, baby,
To warm a lonely night.
I love you, baby.
Trust in me when I say:
Oh, pretty baby,
Don't bring me down, I pray.
Oh, pretty baby, now that I found you, stay
And let me love you, baby.
Let me love you.
You're just too good to be true.
Can't take my eyes off you.
You'd be like Heaven to touch.
I wanna hold you so much.
At long last love has arrived
And I thank God I'm alive.
You're just too good to be true.
Can't take my eyes off you.
I love you, baby,
Trust in me when I say:
Oh, pretty baby,
Don't bring me down, I pray.
Oh, pretty baby, now that I found you, stay..
Can't take my eyes off you.
You'd be like Heaven to touch.
I wanna hold you so much.
At long last love has arrived
And I thank God I'm alive.
You're just too good to be true.
Can't take my eyes off you.
Pardon the way that I stare.
There's nothing else to compare.
The sight of you leaves me weak.
There are no words left to speak,
But if you feel like I feel,
Please let me know that it's real.
You're just too good to be true.
Can't take my eyes off you.
I love you, baby,
And if it's quite alright,
I need you, baby,
To warm a lonely night.
I love you, baby.
Trust in me when I say:
Oh, pretty baby,
Don't bring me down, I pray.
Oh, pretty baby, now that I found you, stay
And let me love you, baby.
Let me love you.
You're just too good to be true.
Can't take my eyes off you.
You'd be like Heaven to touch.
I wanna hold you so much.
At long last love has arrived
And I thank God I'm alive.
You're just too good to be true.
Can't take my eyes off you.
I love you, baby,
And if it's quite alright,
I need you, baby, To warm a lonely night.
I love you, baby.Trust in me when I say:
Oh, pretty baby,
Don't bring me down, I pray.
Oh, pretty baby, now that I found you, stay..
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Is it better?
It's not fear! When you promise something, you must do it ! If you said that you wouldn't ever leave me, so why ? It's not fear! When you want something, you just take it ! If it's not yours, don't touch! 'Cause I would cry... I hate to wait for you to act! I hate to be so naive...What you've done??? I wait, but realized this fact, I penetrate inside, cause still love you one.
Take all my love. Take it and throw it away! I do not want to feel it anymore, cause I'm getting crazy. Each second, more and more! It's unbelievable, cause I am not myself, I'M PART OF YOU!
It's better not to feel anything, just to live, doing the work or so...
Feelings change you. I want to stay myself.
Take all my love. Take it and throw it away! I do not want to feel it anymore, cause I'm getting crazy. Each second, more and more! It's unbelievable, cause I am not myself, I'M PART OF YOU!
It's better not to feel anything, just to live, doing the work or so...
Feelings change you. I want to stay myself.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
shit shit shit
Some days ago I thought that it's very nice time to stay here... But today I realized that it is not so nice as seemed... My neighbours just told me to face that they hate me. - How can I live there after it ???
We live in one room, 6 people... And everybody hates me, cause they envy me!!! The boss moved me up, and now I have a better job than they all have, so they are angry on me, but I DON'T CARE!
I just want to live normally...
I can't find another place to live, cause there are no any free room... in every live about 6 people...
It's very hard not only of this... but also, I have no one to talk to! No one can help me, listen to me, be on my side... I always need to fight!
I miss my family, friends...
I so NEED to see them all one day, so I will stay, fight, and, hopefully, win.
We live in one room, 6 people... And everybody hates me, cause they envy me!!! The boss moved me up, and now I have a better job than they all have, so they are angry on me, but I DON'T CARE!
I just want to live normally...
I can't find another place to live, cause there are no any free room... in every live about 6 people...
It's very hard not only of this... but also, I have no one to talk to! No one can help me, listen to me, be on my side... I always need to fight!
I miss my family, friends...
I so NEED to see them all one day, so I will stay, fight, and, hopefully, win.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Hot
Having fun every evening...
After hard work time I try to do as much crazy thing as possible! I swim at night in the sea, I walk with guys I see the first time, I dance with people around unashamedly, I have a lot of new male friends now...
Feel myself so nice! It is the first time I feel myself like a woman! They love the way I look like, they call me with a beautiful names, they behave like I am the real princess !
Hot greeks :D Could not imagine how great it is to be blonde and live in the south countries! :D :D :D
By the way, I love only one person on the Earth! He is not greek! He is the one, who is more than life for me... so, having fun here, I do not stop being in love with my sweet-sweet-sugar! <3 <3 <3
After hard work time I try to do as much crazy thing as possible! I swim at night in the sea, I walk with guys I see the first time, I dance with people around unashamedly, I have a lot of new male friends now...
Feel myself so nice! It is the first time I feel myself like a woman! They love the way I look like, they call me with a beautiful names, they behave like I am the real princess !
Hot greeks :D Could not imagine how great it is to be blonde and live in the south countries! :D :D :D
By the way, I love only one person on the Earth! He is not greek! He is the one, who is more than life for me... so, having fun here, I do not stop being in love with my sweet-sweet-sugar! <3 <3 <3
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
wrong way
Here are a lot of handsome guys around... Ya, it was the wrong way to recolour my hair to the blonde back :D
Sunday, June 20, 2010
miss you
Already some days i do know nothing about him... He did not call me, did not write me... I feel that something is not right now between us... I know that i need to come back, to meet him, to improve the situation.... whaaa... i do not know how to work now, cause i have him on my mind... and i am very upset that no any message from him!
Sugar... how could you...
Sugar... how could you...
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Friday, June 11, 2010
Can not
He thinks that his words can hurt me.. but it can't.
I am not a stone, i am just a girl who can feel your ache... but i hate when people do something just to influence somehow on me. That's not fair !
I want to hug him so much... not just to hug, but to show how important he is to me. But sometimes i afraid that he does not need it anymore. I do not know what does he want right now.
Every small live particle wants to feel love. We, people, are not an exception.
Can i give him this kind of love that he wants?
Only God knows.
I believe that this guy with white beard knows everything, but, damn, we can't ask him...
I am not a stone, i am just a girl who can feel your ache... but i hate when people do something just to influence somehow on me. That's not fair !
I want to hug him so much... not just to hug, but to show how important he is to me. But sometimes i afraid that he does not need it anymore. I do not know what does he want right now.
Every small live particle wants to feel love. We, people, are not an exception.
Can i give him this kind of love that he wants?
Only God knows.
I believe that this guy with white beard knows everything, but, damn, we can't ask him...
Damn...
The flight was cancelled till monday, so i still am sitting at home..... HATE IT !!! Shit, shit, shit....
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
One smile and I am ready to die...
"Let me wake up in your arms....All I ever wanted is you, my love! I buried you deep in my heart! You're all I wanted in my life! Just you."
Listening to H.I.M. got so pretty feelings... the words are so true....
Listening to H.I.M. got so pretty feelings... the words are so true....
Monday, June 7, 2010
is it OK?
Each girl like to show her feeling and tell to everyone that she feels... but boys are not like that...
they hide their feeling when people are near... they never like to shout on the street ''I LOVE YOU''...
they do not write big letters on the ground near her window ''I LOVE ONLY YOU''.
It's so strange... it's so difficult to understand...
I really want boys not to be afraid to show their feelings, cause every girl loves by listening sweet words... Believe me.... Just try!
they hide their feeling when people are near... they never like to shout on the street ''I LOVE YOU''...
they do not write big letters on the ground near her window ''I LOVE ONLY YOU''.
It's so strange... it's so difficult to understand...
I really want boys not to be afraid to show their feelings, cause every girl loves by listening sweet words... Believe me.... Just try!
Sunday, June 6, 2010
tears
I wish I could tell you all that's on my mind now... I wish you would feel that ache.
Nothing has happened but the rain on my soul, nothing but the tears on my cheeks, nothing but the heart is getting cold.
One incorrect step can change whole life and the attitude to it.
You did this step, you made my heart stop beating, you are killing me again!
I thought it would never would be, but it is the reality... fucking reality!
Why do you behave like that ? Don't you think it's painful enough? it is enough to die!
You do not know how it is to wait for so long, just to know if you are OK...
People need to think twice before do something...
Sometimes we do not think at least once.
Nothing has happened but the rain on my soul, nothing but the tears on my cheeks, nothing but the heart is getting cold.
One incorrect step can change whole life and the attitude to it.
You did this step, you made my heart stop beating, you are killing me again!
I thought it would never would be, but it is the reality... fucking reality!
Why do you behave like that ? Don't you think it's painful enough? it is enough to die!
You do not know how it is to wait for so long, just to know if you are OK...
People need to think twice before do something...
Sometimes we do not think at least once.
two different worlds
Water and fire are not the same...
They can't be together. Two different things which you can't join.
But there is a time, when you can burn in water...
That's when you love a person, who is from another world.
They can't be together. Two different things which you can't join.
But there is a time, when you can burn in water...
That's when you love a person, who is from another world.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Monday, May 31, 2010
Happy
I have finished the first year of university ! so happy, cause today I got 9 for my course work! Happy, happy, happy... On of the best days of this year !
For this evening i have nice plans.. to get drunk with my mum, celebrating this beautiful day !
:)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
POSITIVE !!!
YEEEAAAHHH ! :D
Thanks, God...
For this evening i have nice plans.. to get drunk with my mum, celebrating this beautiful day !
:)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
POSITIVE !!!
YEEEAAAHHH ! :D
Thanks, God...
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Monday, May 24, 2010
friends and me
Spring. Looking at the park you can find a lot of couples kissing near trees. They all have smiles and their faces and a bit closed eyes... Every person has each own path in the future, but at the moment they all feel the most wonderful thing in the life. LOVE.
All my beautiful friends have boyfriends now. I am so glad that they all are so happy! It is a time when people fall in love. A time when their soul is opened to the world!
But nothing least for ever of course. As one of my favourite songs tells "There is a time to born and a time to die... A time for love and a time to cry..." - I wish my friends would not cry... and wouldn't die also :))
So, my best friends, Julia is with Valentine now, and Anastasia is with Alex. Nice couples. Strange, but I feel something warm from them. I already love them all! :))) I know that they all are happy and that's why I am happy too. But sometimes of course I feel jealous 'cause my girls can't be with me as much as they were in the past.
By the way, I am not single too. I am in love...
With a nature, God, music, sports... and you.
All my beautiful friends have boyfriends now. I am so glad that they all are so happy! It is a time when people fall in love. A time when their soul is opened to the world!
But nothing least for ever of course. As one of my favourite songs tells "There is a time to born and a time to die... A time for love and a time to cry..." - I wish my friends would not cry... and wouldn't die also :))
So, my best friends, Julia is with Valentine now, and Anastasia is with Alex. Nice couples. Strange, but I feel something warm from them. I already love them all! :))) I know that they all are happy and that's why I am happy too. But sometimes of course I feel jealous 'cause my girls can't be with me as much as they were in the past.
By the way, I am not single too. I am in love...
With a nature, God, music, sports... and you.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
3 doors down - here without you
Here without You
A hundred days have made me older
Since the last time that I saw your pretty face
A thousand lies have made me colder
And I don't think I can look at this the same
But all the miles that separate
Disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face
I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight it's only you and me, yeah
The miles just keep rollin'
As the people leave their way to say hello
I've heard this life is overrated
But I hope that it gets better as we go, oh yeah yeah
I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl it's only you and me
Everything I know and anywhere I go
It gets hard but it won't take away my love
And when the last one falls, when it's all said and done
It gets hard but it won't take away my love, whoa
I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl it's only you and me, yeah oh yeah oh
Since the last time that I saw your pretty face
A thousand lies have made me colder
And I don't think I can look at this the same
But all the miles that separate
Disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face
I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight it's only you and me, yeah
The miles just keep rollin'
As the people leave their way to say hello
I've heard this life is overrated
But I hope that it gets better as we go, oh yeah yeah
I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl it's only you and me
Everything I know and anywhere I go
It gets hard but it won't take away my love
And when the last one falls, when it's all said and done
It gets hard but it won't take away my love, whoa
I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl it's only you and me, yeah oh yeah oh
Monday, May 17, 2010
Swedish guy
I am going to study in Sweden, Vaxjo city.
If everything would be as i want, I will move there after a very small time, so doing my best!
I want to spend all my life there cause I like the country and people living there.
I think I would not be alone there, cause at least one person is already known there. :))
He is so interesting person and we can talk day-night. If only I had more time to know him better...
In the near future I will pass the exams and start to do everything for journey to Greece.
About 4,5 months I have to work there without anybody known around.
I hope that my swedish friend would not find any other person to flirt with, cause i want him to be with me.
By the way, does he exist in real life or it is my imagination ?
I think I already started to feel something.
Crazy me. Hormones, Spring.
If everything would be as i want, I will move there after a very small time, so doing my best!
I want to spend all my life there cause I like the country and people living there.
I think I would not be alone there, cause at least one person is already known there. :))
He is so interesting person and we can talk day-night. If only I had more time to know him better...
In the near future I will pass the exams and start to do everything for journey to Greece.
About 4,5 months I have to work there without anybody known around.
I hope that my swedish friend would not find any other person to flirt with, cause i want him to be with me.
By the way, does he exist in real life or it is my imagination ?
I think I already started to feel something.
Crazy me. Hormones, Spring.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Romance
//I am sitting in my room, waiting for a ring. I know that you will call, and said "cutie, i miss you''. I will smile and kiss you through the phone. I love the way you speak... I can listen your voice all life long and never become bored.
After some hours you will come back to home, kiss and hug me so tightly... I will tell you that your dinner is already waiting for you. We will go to dinning room, when the candles is burning like my heart, and everything looks perfect, cause the music is so slow.
You will ask me for one dance before. I will be a little bit shy, cause i forget to dress myself in something sexy. You said it does not matter, cause I look like a princess.
You said it with so tender voice, so I started to feel myself like being on heaven!
Dinner is over, I clean everything up when you are relaxing. In the process I am thinking about you... I came to you, set down on your lap, and said that I am so happy with you.
You touched my face and kissed me so sweet.
I can't wait till you come again.
I love you now, and I will love you till I die.
You are my life, you are my soul.//
After some hours you will come back to home, kiss and hug me so tightly... I will tell you that your dinner is already waiting for you. We will go to dinning room, when the candles is burning like my heart, and everything looks perfect, cause the music is so slow.
You will ask me for one dance before. I will be a little bit shy, cause i forget to dress myself in something sexy. You said it does not matter, cause I look like a princess.
You said it with so tender voice, so I started to feel myself like being on heaven!
Dinner is over, I clean everything up when you are relaxing. In the process I am thinking about you... I came to you, set down on your lap, and said that I am so happy with you.
You touched my face and kissed me so sweet.
I can't wait till you come again.
I love you now, and I will love you till I die.
You are my life, you are my soul.//
But the thing is that it was just a dream, but I am sure, that YOU are near, and soon it would not be just a dream. I do not know who YOU are, but I already wait for you. As usual, near window, holding my phone... Day, and night. Day, night...
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Working in Greece with NIKOS TRAVEL AGENCY
This summer I am going to spend in Greece, working as a maid on Rhodes Island. This opportunity was given by NIKOS TRAVEL AGENCY. The hotel i will work in, is nice, called Forum Hotels. The owner is a good guy, so I am not worry about the living conditions there.
I just bought a flight tickets to Rhodes, but I hate to fly at 6:00 AM from Vilnius... So, at night I would go via bus... UFf, so many problems I had with the ticket... By the way I already paid 500 LV, it's about 710 EU... and it is just a beginning !
The salary is going to be 400 EU per month, so you see that working there from June till October i would receive only about 740 EU... brr... do not know is it worth it or not, but I hope I will have a nice time too! I would see the Sea, southern sun, swimming and having sun bathes...
I can not wait till i fly there! Would be great time! I hope.
I just bought a flight tickets to Rhodes, but I hate to fly at 6:00 AM from Vilnius... So, at night I would go via bus... UFf, so many problems I had with the ticket... By the way I already paid 500 LV, it's about 710 EU... and it is just a beginning !
The salary is going to be 400 EU per month, so you see that working there from June till October i would receive only about 740 EU... brr... do not know is it worth it or not, but I hope I will have a nice time too! I would see the Sea, southern sun, swimming and having sun bathes...
I can not wait till i fly there! Would be great time! I hope.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
unbelievable feeling
I can not explain it, but i feel something like the biggest happiness! Unbelievable feeling that exceeds my past feelings!!! I feel myself like i never felt before! I am so happy, seems without reason...
//When i heard his voice and the sounds of musical instruments, i could fly... When i saw them on the stage, i could cry of understanding the greatness of this moment. I could not believe my eyes! I hugged them, kissed and could not believe looking at their reaction... They were happy to see me too. They were happy to dance with me. I was happy to be in this magical dream. And it was not a dream at all.//
So much time's gone, but i still feel the breeze of this night. It was fantastic! It was Great ! Everything was perfect!
Thanks God i was there... Thanks for these people that i met there. Thanks God.
I love you, God, as much as You do! I respect my past, my present, my future, cause i know that you always were near to help me. You did everything for me and you still do. God, thanks for giving me heart to feel! Thanks for giving me brain to understand!
Thanks that you listen me! I know that all i write here you see. So, you can imagine how much love is inside me at this moment! Now i know that love exists and you too! Without you, i could not be myself! Now i now who i am!
One moment can change all life.
Be careful not to waste this fucking little moment!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I LOVE YOU, GOD, I LOVE YOU, MUSIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks God i was there... Thanks for these people that i met there. Thanks God.
I love you, God, as much as You do! I respect my past, my present, my future, cause i know that you always were near to help me. You did everything for me and you still do. God, thanks for giving me heart to feel! Thanks for giving me brain to understand!
Thanks that you listen me! I know that all i write here you see. So, you can imagine how much love is inside me at this moment! Now i know that love exists and you too! Without you, i could not be myself! Now i now who i am!
One moment can change all life.
Be careful not to waste this fucking little moment!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I LOVE YOU, GOD, I LOVE YOU, MUSIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Мужчины-утешители
"У каждой женщины есть необходимость быть желанной. И не раз в неделю, не каждую ночь, а постоянно. Вот тогда и появляются мужчины-утешители. Они просты, понятны, постоянны и всегда готовы подержать вас за руку, сводить в кафе и выслушать ваш девичий бред.
* Я пытаюсь найти определение, а заодно и применение мужчине-утешителю.
* Я не волнуюсь, когда иду прогуляться с ним.
* Я иду прогуляться, чтобы убить время и порадовать женское тщеславие.
* И я не гадаю, позвонит ли он. Потому что я знаю — позвонит. Потому что я знаю, что мне-то все равно.
* Мне ничего не нужно от него, кроме ощущения, что я кому-то нужна. Пусть не тому. Но все же.
Однажды, после бодрящего похода по магазинам и полного печали разговора о мужчинах, моя подруга создала чудесное определение для редких мужчин, которые нравятся нам. Они — недобрые молодцы. Их мало.
Зато есть и добрые молодцы. Именно так, потому что скучные, привычные, предсказуемые — очень добрые молодцы постоянно приходят, звонят, зовут… Ключевое слово — постоянно. И в один из моментов отчаяния вы даже говорите доброму молодцу "да". От злости на себя, на "недоброту" затаившегося где-то героя, на весь мир. И вы думаете — пусть так, пусть хоть что-то. Вам кажется, вы можете отомстить этим ненужным "да". Пусть не герою, этакому недоброму молодцу, а самой себе.
Женщина думает, пусть кто-то ищет и ждет меня. Не все же мне этим заниматься. Добрые молодцы, конечно, не подозревают, что они утешают. Они думают, они соблазняют. Но такова жизнь. Невозможно соблазнить женщину, которая трагически влюблена, а ее герой — недобрый молодец. Но так или иначе спутник нужен. На один вечер, на некоторое время.
И дело не в желании ранить кого-то, а в абсолютном безразличии. "Я, кажется, не узнаю его, если встречу случайно на улице", — сказала она об одном добром молодце. Как так? Они познакомились, обменялись телефонами, договорились о встрече и даже встретились. "Но я не смотрела на него. Мне совсем не хотелось его запомнить". Да, он высокий, темноволосый. Но ей это абсолютно не интересно. Достаточно было того, что он интересовался ей.
Если в мире образовалась пропасть, от взрыва надежд, связанных с героем, не один добрый молодец провалится туда. Существует такой способ грусти — уходить от того, кому вы нужны, в неизвестном направлении.
Ей не давали покоя мысли об одном, не давали покоя звонки кого-то другого. А ждала бы она так кого-то, кто появлялся бы слишком часто? Или у нее просто не нашлось бы времени ждать его и думать о нем? И все же, нет. Если кто-то и правда нужен вам, а вы — ему, тогда вы просто вместе, и никто никого не ждет. Пожалуй, в этом суть.
Случается, женщины знакомятся в чистом поле, или в троллейбусах, или переходя дорогу, или в любой точке прекрасного города. Моя подруга, умница, истинная женщина, называет это людоведством. Когда днем думаете об одном, знакомитесь с другим, а вечером этот другой уже преподносит вам розу и всего себя. А вы принимаете все это как должное, даже снисходительно, и гуляете с ним, позабыв о каблуках, натянув старые кеды. А вся беда в том, что цветы и целый мир от кого-то кроме — это пустяк. А вот долгожданный и все же неожиданный звонок от гостя вашего сердца — это уже чудеса.
Так чего же хочет женщина, ждать звонка мужчины или не ждать? Доброго молодца она не ждала никогда. Он просто не давал ей возможности. Он звонил и звонил, появлялся, приходил и приносил свои розы. Она сушила их и печалилась о том, кто где-то. Где-то не с ней, но все же ее герой. О том, на чьем плече она засыпала, о том, кто снился ей, о том, к которому она готова бежать среди ночи, о том, чье "нет" доводит до слез. И она начала бояться, что ей просто не нужен мужчина, из-за которого она не будет плакать.
Да, нам нужны недобрые молодцы. Пока она дрожит и звонит ему сама, вырвавшись на городской газон, рвет пальцами ног клевер — он где-то стоит в пробке. И ему, может, нет дела, кто она такая на самом деле. Он даже не догадывается, что иногда ночью она просыпается от того, что его нет рядом. И не может заснуть. Слишком долго не может, чтобы это было только девичьим капризом. Иногда он пропадает неделями, а она, как верный зверь, — ждет. Непонятно чего, но ждет.
А потом вдруг женщина думает: "Мало". И никто не виноват. Просто все ходят на охоту, так случается. Мы питаемся не только новыми туфлями, сумочками и ароматом духов. Нам нужны жертвы. Мы желаем побеждать и владеть. Вот тогда на горизонте возникают мужчины-утешители. Этакие непритязательные, но всегда готовые добрые молодцы.
Вся беда в том, что, стоит появиться тому самому — "недоброму", и никакие утешения нам уже не нужны. Мы сами готовы на все."
http://ruwoman.delfi.lv/news/loveandsex/relations/muzhchiny-uteshiteli.d?id=31506921
что-то в этом есть...
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
songs
Songs... songs...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4e95RD9Bz-w
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I354-gSX7aM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4e95RD9Bz-w
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I354-gSX7aM
Sunday, April 18, 2010
who I am ?
''talented person'', ''bossy'', ''angel'', ''lovely'', ''bitch''... I heard a lot about me... but who I am, no one knows... I am spirit of nature. I am crying inside, but no one sees. No one wants to see. I am not like you think I am. I am not like you.
Friday, April 16, 2010
7 pounds
The movie of life... The movie of love...
How to love life and people ? How to give them all that you have ?
Everything you have is your life. Could you ever though about giving you life to anybody else ? To give your heart or eyes or any other part of you to save someone's life...
Watching this movie I realized how one man can a change seven life of others...
It is so perfect... I still am crying 'cause I'm loving it...
The idea of this story is really great!
The story about one guy (Will Smith) who did a little mistake, and putted 7 people to death... Car incident by mistake. His wife died, and other people from another car too... He could not forget about it and forgive himself this night. He promised to himself to help other people to live. He presented his big house near the ocean to one family who was living in the nightmare, he did some operations to donate partly his bodies to people who was sick... He became an angel for a lot of people...
In the end of this movie, he donated his heart to the woman that was in love with him...
So romantic.
He died, and she carry his heart in her chest.
Can you imagine, what was the feelings of this man, doing such things...
But I hope in real life no one should do stuff like in this beautiful and shocking story...
Monday, March 22, 2010
so difficult to understand
Do you know what I'm thinking about?
Can you feel me ?You think you know me well...
But I really do not know myself !
Requiem for life.
Some people won't hear anything.
Their eyes and ears are closed.
They are shadows in the crowd
That don't notice others.
They don't understand
That it's hard for me!
I'm bored to jump higher than my head!
I'm happy that I'm alive, but it's easier to be dead!!!
No emotions...
The shout shrunk in my throat.
There are no tears. The eyes are dry...
The people are breaking my illusions.
They close their ears to hear silence.
They screw up their eyes to see darkness.
They don't understand that I'm still alive!
It's hard to speak when nobody is listening.
Why do I ask for help, if I know
That everyone spits on my problems!?!
The sea of desires and possibilities is around me,
But it is indifferent too !!!
It's hard for me.
It's hard to be alive.
So difficult...
Too difficult to decide on action.
Some people won't hear anything.
Their eyes and ears are closed.
They are shadows in the crowd
That don't notice others.
They don't understand
That it's hard for me!
I'm bored to jump higher than my head!
I'm happy that I'm alive, but it's easier to be dead!!!
No emotions...
The shout shrunk in my throat.
There are no tears. The eyes are dry...
The people are breaking my illusions.
They close their ears to hear silence.
They screw up their eyes to see darkness.
They don't understand that I'm still alive!
It's hard to speak when nobody is listening.
Why do I ask for help, if I know
That everyone spits on my problems!?!
The sea of desires and possibilities is around me,
But it is indifferent too !!!
It's hard for me.
It's hard to be alive.
So difficult...
Too difficult to decide on action.
freedom
Where is my freedom???
I live with some thoughts that can not leave me alone.The secret voice, so deep inside me, is singing a song of sorrow, and only sometimes, when it's silent around, I can hear this melody and sad lyrics...
Why do not I allow this voice to sing louder ?
I know that this voice knows the truth, but I am afraid that someone would hear it... would hear and change me.My life is someone's template! I live a life that is not mine at all ! I do the things that, probably, would be better for my future...
But who knows what is better ???
I always act like my family or society wants, but I never do anything that could make me feel free! I am in a prison of public mind... I am not free...!!!Paradox!!!
...I am afraid of getting freedom...
Monday, March 15, 2010
My Avatar
RAMMSTEIN
I can't believe that it was!!!
I was in a first row, fan zone on rammstein show! It was fantastic! The best day of my life! REALLY! After it happen, I am the happiest person on this planet! :))))))
I have met there one guy, called "Finger" (from RAMMSTEIN SECURITY SERVICE), so he gave me his card and asked if i want to stay with a band after show! Of course I stayed! :D
There were about 10 girls (but on the show there were about 10 000 people). In the room was playing music of 80's and on the table were drinks (vine, beer, vodka..). One guy said "girls, drink, do not be shy"... - on this moment I was so scared of suspense!
After 10 minutes Richard came to us. He was so gentle, shaking hands of each girl. We were talking some minutes, took signature, and he gone somewhere.
Further came Till ! OMG, I felt myself so stupidly when I kissed his cheek and said that I love them all... He was smiling, and for me it was best payment ever! We took signature (of course), took some pictures and he gone away as Richard...
We were alone (excluding security), only music of 80's and drinks.... After some minutes more, there came one of the sexiest member of this band - Oliver!!! We did the same actions with him, but, thanks God, he stayed for a long :)) We were dancing... :)) Oh, wouldn't forget this moment. And.... There we met their manager. The guy that always is near them. He was so nice, talking with me and my skin head friend (Ya, girls could be skin head too).
By the way, we were there only until 2 AM. But after this party, i really feel love inside, 'cause before it i was not feeling myself alive !
Thank you, my favourite band!!!
Monday, March 1, 2010
Blond, blue eyed guy
Midnight. Dream. Silence. Blond, blue eyed, tall, smart, intelligent, handsome...
I already know that he is not mine. He has got a girlfriend... of course he could not be single, he is too nice to be single! I like him very much, so I hope we would become at least friends... I understand that I do not need more. Just to talk with such lovely guy that can prove my mood, from earth till heaven.
Morning. Cloudy. Loneliness.
I already know that he is not mine. He has got a girlfriend... of course he could not be single, he is too nice to be single! I like him very much, so I hope we would become at least friends... I understand that I do not need more. Just to talk with such lovely guy that can prove my mood, from earth till heaven.
Morning. Cloudy. Loneliness.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Baby
My sister gave birth this night. It's a girl, Alisa...
can not wait till i hold her and hug... i saw only pictures... she's got fat cheeks :)))) like a hamster :D
but i will love her... Anna, darling, thanks for giving us this happiness!!!
can not wait till i hold her and hug... i saw only pictures... she's got fat cheeks :)))) like a hamster :D
but i will love her... Anna, darling, thanks for giving us this happiness!!!
Friday, February 5, 2010
dedicated to my friend. he died.
I can't live any more without you. I don't want to live with understanding that you are not here... When you died, you took all my dreams to hell!
You took them and all other things that were making me feel alive... I thought about you... I dreamed about you...
I loved you too much so it could not be truth !
I wanted you too much but you did not exist any more!
I loved you too much to notice if I am breathing... sometimes I just forgot to breath at all...
Russian:
немогу я больше жить так без тебя, нехочу я больше жить и знать что нет тебя в живых... когда ты умер, ты забрал с собою в ад мечты мои мечты! с собой забрал мои мечты, и всё, чем я жила.... я жила тобою...
я слишком сильно тебя любила, чтобы любовь была правдой..
я слишком сильно тебя хотела, а ведь ты просто не существовал более...
я слишком сильно тебя любила, чтобы замечать своё дыхание... иногда я вовсе забывала дышать...
You took them and all other things that were making me feel alive... I thought about you... I dreamed about you...
I loved you too much so it could not be truth !
I wanted you too much but you did not exist any more!
I loved you too much to notice if I am breathing... sometimes I just forgot to breath at all...
Russian:
немогу я больше жить так без тебя, нехочу я больше жить и знать что нет тебя в живых... когда ты умер, ты забрал с собою в ад мечты мои мечты! с собой забрал мои мечты, и всё, чем я жила.... я жила тобою...
я слишком сильно тебя любила, чтобы любовь была правдой..
я слишком сильно тебя хотела, а ведь ты просто не существовал более...
я слишком сильно тебя любила, чтобы замечать своё дыхание... иногда я вовсе забывала дышать...
Sunday, January 3, 2010
answers
I always thought about the purpose of my life. I am not a child now and I understand that there are no denotation of ''friends'' and "lovers".
Everyone should live and fight just for himself! But if so... Why should we live on this Earth if no any real sense.
Just think about the purpose of your life. You born, you study, you work, you get married, you have a child, this child grow up the same as you... then you die, and nothing more... Does someone change the chain of happenings? Do we need to live only like other ''normal'' people live?
I really can not find an answer. I really do not want to live like others... I want someone to help me find a path from sadness... I am so scared of becoming crazy because I do not see the purpose...
Everyone should live and fight just for himself! But if so... Why should we live on this Earth if no any real sense.
Just look around, each couple tells that they are in love, but after some years they are not together anymore... why ? We were best friends but after long time we are not... anymore... Really ? Is it true ? Is it so?
Only now I understand that I have to rely only on myself !!!
Why do I need to live if each day is like other days, GREY ! If feeling are just a fake, we have no future! Either this future would be the same dead-grey.Just think about the purpose of your life. You born, you study, you work, you get married, you have a child, this child grow up the same as you... then you die, and nothing more... Does someone change the chain of happenings? Do we need to live only like other ''normal'' people live?
I really can not find an answer. I really do not want to live like others... I want someone to help me find a path from sadness... I am so scared of becoming crazy because I do not see the purpose...
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